i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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