let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
