Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
