You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You're like the curious george of whores
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
