as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
