will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
