you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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