yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
