Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
