Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
