thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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