What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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