the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
