All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
