I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
