remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
