Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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