I bet he comes in French.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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