I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize