Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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