Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
