playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
