Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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