If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
