I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I will pee on everything he values.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
