I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
