yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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