hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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