Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
