And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
