North Korea, Best Korea!
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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