I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
