I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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