So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
