Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
