Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You pole danced in your parka.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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