I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
