I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
