just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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