Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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