You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
