hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Who died my cat blue again?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
