6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
