At least make sure they are 18
Why
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize