Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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