It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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