There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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