I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
