Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
