xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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