are you still at the devil's house?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I believe in your delicious
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
