I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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