Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
