She's JV to your varsity
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize