I hate all girls vehemently.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
