Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize