do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I checked into jail on foursquare
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
