come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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