We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
