you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
