Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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